Things I need to survive in my new neighborhood.

1. An amazing sense of entitlement.
2. A healthy dose of white guilt.
3. An obscenely skinny photographer girlfriend who takes black and white pictures of gate latches.
4. A fixed gear bike.
5. Ironic facial hair.
6. Oversized vintage glasses.
7. Carry a record bag everywhere I go.
8. Roll my own cigarettes.
9. Acquire a taste for PBR.
10. A medical marijuana card.
11. A hybrid vehicle.
12. A Vespa scooter with many mirrors.
13. A hatred of hipster scum even though I am a hipster and was doing it way before it was cool.
14. Pointless nostalgia for the unremembered 1980’s.
15. A non-corporate coffee house to sit in and write my screenplay on my mac for hours on end.
16. Skinny jeans.
17. A tight hoodie zipped all the way up.
18. Eat food that has never cast a shadow, but still have a burger now and then in secret to stay healthy.
19. A girl best friend with two different hair colors.
20. A cute puppy. Preferably of the toy variety.
21. Some sort of hemp clothing.
22.  Converse.
23. A trust fund and a day job at a vintage clothing store, you know for the discount.
24. Realize that everyone I know is more relevant than everyone you know.
25. An awesome record collection.
26. A pipe, cigars are so passé.
27. A cassette player.

Cheers,

James