Meh..

Meh…


I get up this morning and just go meh. Not sad, happy or anything. I don’t really care today. Got up, feed the cat, got dressed, had some coffee and just went meh. I’ve lost the ability to care at work. It pays the bills and I have plenty of free time when I’m there to do whatever, but I feel like I’m wasting away here. I’m turning 37 in a few weeks, too late to start looking for something else. I don’t want to start at the bottom again. I don’t want some 25 year old kid just out of college telling what to do.



Don was the first person I met when I moved to Ridgecrest. I was taking a machine shop class up at the college. I didn’t want to be a machinist or anything; it just seemed like an interesting class. I thought Don was one of the instructors. He seemed to know a lot about the work we were doing. If anyone needed help he was always there and he was able to fix the problem.

I started talking to the guy and realized that he was only two years older then me. He was just out of the army and trying to start over. He drove a flat bed truck that was usually loaded with hay. Don would give me a ride from the campus back to the high school. Time went on and Don and I grew to be pretty good friends. It turned out that our families had known each other since the sixties. My father dated his step mom in high school.

It started getting really crowded at my grandmother’s place. My grandpa had Alzheimer’s and was bed ridden. My aunt was a hardcore drug addict and her kids were living there. My dad and I shared a room. Don suggested that I move to his place. His parents had a ranch out in the middle of nowhere. I helped out around the place, feed the animals, and chopped wood. I became a half assed ranch-hand. I dug it. At night we would throw on our black trench coats, find whatever vehicle we could get running and go to town. We didn’t really do much. We mostly sat around Denny’s drinking coffee and eating French fries till we were kicked out.



Terrance came up to me in class and said “I bet you sit around and listen to music.”

Actually yes I do was my response. We spent the rest of the day talking music and comparing briefcases’. We both carried briefcases’ to class. We made plans to hang out on Friday. Don and I would pick him. We went to his house, met his parents and left. After a half hour of wandering aimlessly around the desert we ran into a group of Terrance’s friends. He told us he is going to go hang out with them now and split. Don and I ended up back at Denny’s.