It wouldn't mean shit

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I’ve changed in the past nine months. I lost 70 pounds, become more active, going out, making friends and even dated someone for a short time. I talk more openly about myself. I started writing my thoughts and feelings down. I’ve even come to terms with my past.


I still miss Dawn, I even still love her. The missing will subside, but I will always love her, she was a big part of my life and we will always have a special bond. It’s not romantic love that went away long ago.

I am learning to be alone. Sometimes I like it. Sure it would be nice to sit on the couch and watch a movie with someone, have someone to share my bed. That will happen eventually, but until then I will enjoy my single status.

I’m still not comfortable in my own skin, but that’s getting better. I won’t apologize for myself. I’m moody, bi-polar and I still don’t like being in crowds of people I don’t know. That’s just me. I would apologize, but it wouldn’t mean shit.