Update

I relented and had the cable turned on. I felt bad for the girls when they visit. Welcome to dads, watch nothing and do nothing. It’s only 50 bucks a month and I’m sure I can cut some corners and pay it.

The girl I’m seeing is visiting friends far away and I miss her terribly. Sometimes I think I might be pushing her away by always wanting to see her, but I know I’m just reading into things that aren’t really there. That’s me though, who can blame me for wanting to see her?

The depression is getting better. I no longer dread the day when I wake up. I don’t exactly look forward to it, but I don’t dread it either. I still don’t feel like my apartment is a home. It’s more like a transitional space I’m in. A living purgatory.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t need to be with somebody. The missing sucks, but it’s also kind of cool. I’ve never given myself the chance to miss someone before. It’s all new to me. She accepted me into her family, my kids and all. So that tells me that my worries are for nothing.

Yes, I love her.