Saturday, November 6, 2010

Things I need to survive in my new neighborhood.

  1. An amazing sense of entitlement.
  2. A healthy dose of white guilt.
  3. An obscenely skinny photographer girlfriend who takes black and white pictures of gate latches.
  4. A fixed gear bike.
  5. Ironic facial hair.
  6. Oversized vintage glasses.
  7. Carry a record bag everywhere I go.
  8. Roll my own cigarettes.
  9. Acquire a taste for PBR.
  10. A medical marijuana card.
  11. A hybrid vehicle.
  12. A Vespa scooter with many mirrors.
  13. A hatred of hipster scum even though I am a hipster and was doing it way before it was cool.
  14. Pointless nostalgia for the unremembered 1980’s.
  15. A non-corporate coffee house to sit in and write my screenplay on my mac for hours on end.
  16. Skinny jeans.
  17. A tight hoodie zipped all the way up.
  18. Eat food that has never cast a shadow, but still have a burger now and then in secret to stay healthy.
  19. A girl best friend with two different hair colors.
  20. A cute puppy. Preferably of the toy variety.
  21. Some sort of hemp clothing.
  22.  Converse.
  23. A trust fund and a day job at a vintage clothing store, you know for the discount.
  24. Realize that everyone I know is more relevant than everyone you know.
  25. An awesome record collection.
  26. A pipe, cigars are so passé.
  27. A cassette player.