Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The 1978 fruit basket (How to ruin your parents coke party)

My friend Hal told how to make a fruit basket. " Bend over and stuff your balls between your legs." He also told me what a brown eye was.

My mom and dad were having a typical 1978 coke and disco party. I was in my room practicing my tricks. When i felt I had perfected both feats I walked out into the living room naked. I shoved my junk between my legs and bent over. i spread my ass cheeks apart and yelled " Hey! Brown eye everyone!" The room was silent except for the music.

I sat like that for about 30 seconds before my dad started laughing. My mom started apologizing to all her friends saying how embarrassed she was. One of their friends said "Verne's going to be a real swinger when he's older. I better keep him away from my daughter!"


I took a bow and went back to my room. My dad came in drunk off his ass and gave me half his beer. He told me how funny I was.

I was so proud.

The next morning I went to the bathroom and tripped over my dad. He was passed out hugging the toilet bowl. My mom was nude on the living room couch. I poured myself some cereal and watched cartoons.

No one ever mentioned it to me again.