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All the blankets I own are the ones my dad wrapped around himself when he killed himself. All of my towels were his. I still have all his knick-knacks. I have a few of his books and CD’s. Most of it sits in boxes in what should be my dinning room. It takes up space. Every time I see the boxes I remember being a kid and hiding in my bedroom while my parents fought drunkenly. Some of it is things they would throw at each other. Each item is a painful memory. I can’t seem to get rid of it. It’s like it has a weird hold on me. It all has to go. I have to throw it all away. One blanket has three small spots of blood on it. That’s the one I sleep with.
Tomorrow around 8-8:30, it goes. All of it. Until I get more blankets, I’ll use a sleeping bag. The sheets and pillow cases belonged to my ex. I think I’ll get rid of them too
3 comments:
Do it James! That is a powerful move on your part and I am amazed at your strength and determination to get well and move your life forward one box, blanket, and memory at a time!
I was 7 when my dad died, I carried my boxes of memories for decades. One day when I wasn't home, it was my ex who got tired of looking at them and threw them out. I was unbelievably upset at the time, but see now, they were just objects from days gone by. Nothing that brings value to my present self.
I'm curious as to how it went...did you throw out the old things? I still hold on to his things..his empty box of cigarettes that he had before he pulled the trigger..blood spatter on it..I can't seem to let go of his blood and don't think I ever will...did you get rid of things? How did it feel? Did it help in any small way?????
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