In retrospect, 9th grade wasn't really that bad.

I woke up in the middle of the night. For the first time in months my mind did not turn to her. Instead I thought about the future. The new people in my life, the new adventures we may or may not have. The encouragement I am getting from one in particular. Pushing me to do something I never thought I would do. Introducing me to new things I never liked before. I’m starting to see things in a different light. Sure my life is crap right now, but it is far from over.




A lot is two words.



Mrs. Orrick hated me. I’m not exaggerating here, she really hated me. She told my mother on Parent Teacher night that she thought I was a bad seed and would never amount to anything. When my mom got home she asked me if I did anything to Mrs. Orrick to make her hate me. I said no, she’s just mean.

It was bad enough that I had to sit in her class an hour everyday, but I was an office TA and had to go collect attendance cards from her class every morning. Her door was always locked. I had to wait for someone to open the door. I would have to stand next to her desk while she took roll and filled out the card. I was told by Shaunna that I looked awkward and annoyed. I felt like the whole class was looking at me and silently laughing because every morning Verne has to stand up under the words “A Lot is two words” which she had printed on the chalkboard all year long. I tried not to make any eye contact with anyone in the room. I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

There was some girl that worked in the office with me. She would sit and stare at me. It felt good but at the same time it creeped me out a little. I felt bad for her. The secretaries would tell her to stop daydreaming about James right in front of me. I blushed every time. I could only imagine how she felt.

I was given the office gig as sort of a punishment. The year before me and some friends forged a teachers name on a library pass. We had to go to the Vice Principals office. She took us in one by one. She told me that she knew I was a good kid and that she suspected that I might be having family problems at home. She said she was going to look out for me and make me work in the office the next year. I figured she was joking.

First day of ninth grade my schedule says Office TA for first period. I walked in and she said “Told you so” I learned to like working there. All the ladies there loved me. They always told how cute I was.

That started to bring me out of my shell. I guess all I needed was an ego boost. I had a girl fawning over me. Years later I found out there was another one. I started making friends. My grades were going up. I even made the honor roll. With the exception of my bully problems with Danny, life was pretty good for awhile.