Product of a fucked situation

This is only half finished. I'll add more later.

High School number two.

After leaving Rialto I ended up in Perris Ca, which was a bigger shit hole then Rialto was. My father had moved us into a house with a lady named Lynn he met at a mental hospital. It was a big house up on a hill with an awesome view of the valley below. She had two kids who she never mentioned. Both were over 18 and just split. The floors were all brick. There was no heat in the place. I had my own room. Really I had the whole house to my self. Dad and Lynn were never there.

Dad said as long as I go to school I could do whatever I wanted to do. I could smoke, drink, smoke pot, whatever, just as long as I went to school everyday. School was horrible. There were maybe 30 white kids in the whole place. I had knives pulled on me all the time. My Money stolen, my clothes disappeared from the gym locker. I had to wear my PE uniform all day. I got tired of having my money stolen so I started spend it on cassette tapes. I begged the front office for free lunch passes they gave out to the poor kids. Food was taken care of, but what about the knives and occasional gun jammed in my ribs? Fuck it, I said if it’s my time to go then so be it.

My math teacher brought in some guest speaker from the Nation of Islam. It was a full hour of I hate Whitey. Being the only white kid in class sucked. Every verbal attack on the white race was directed at me. After class I got the hell out of there. I didn’t want to be the victim of a beating.

I met my first real girlfriend there. Her name was Kim. She was blonde and in the senior class.  She gave me my first real kiss. I had to hide the boner I got during the kiss. She pretended not to notice. Kim was a trooper. We would make out every chance we got. She would call me up at night and ask me to come over and sleep with her. Being the oblivious ass I am, I never took her up. I thought she was trying to be funny. Kim got tired of trying and dumped me after a few months.

Some one broke into Lynn’s house. They only touched her stuff. Mine was safe, which looked rather suspicious. The police came over and took a report. They told Lynn that it was probably her drug addict son and to stop blaming me. I had my own suspicions. I thought my dad had set it up. He owed some pretty shady people a lot of money and probably told them not to touch my stuff.  Got to give it up to dad on that one.

She threw us out. We ended up in some trailer park in a 13 foot travel trailer with no electricity. Dad slept all day and all night. I just listened to tapes on my walkman. When the batteries died I stole some more. We couldn’t go to the bathroom in the place. I had to walk a block to the public showers in the camping area. My clothes reeked. We had no food. Dad had a supply of pills though.

I came home from school one day and saw two sheriffs cars parked outside. They were walking in and out of the trailer with all my things. They packed up my stuff and split. My dad didn’t come home that night. Some guy came banging on the door demanding to see Larry. I told him to fuck off, that I had a gun and would kill him if he came inside. I guess he believed me. He left.

The school year ended. Dad said he needed to go away for awhile. He gave me a hundred bucks and split. The nearest store was back in town, 13 miles away. I found the keys to his car and drove to the grocery store.

I got really bored waiting for him to come home. I took a razor blade and cut question marks into my arm. He came home and freaked out. He wanted to have me committed.

He asked if I wanted to kill myself. I told him no, I was just bored and I thought it looked neat.