Ode to Grub part II

For Part one see my friend Terrances blog.Ode to Grub

Sorry Terrance, I’m hijacking your story.




Pat was a good guy. We took horrible advantage of him. He had a car and we didn’t. He had access to cigarettes and we didn’t. He was a big fat schlub with poor hygiene. We would go to his house and he’d supply us with cigarettes. He’d let us watch whatever we wanted on his TV. All he wanted was some friendship.

We would take Pat out with us. We told everyone we met that his name was Grub and that he couldn’t speak. As if on cue Pat would grunt. We were basically making fun of him to his face. The girls we met thought it was cute. They’d giggle and we’d talk. We got a few phone numbers that way.

One group of girls caught our eye. We called them the little black haired girls. Every one of them had black hair so it seemed like a good names for them. Terrance me and Grub walked up to them

Terrance introduced us to them “This is James, and this is Grub.”

Pat grunted

I said hello.

We got to talking. Pat never said a word. The girls said they were having a slumber party at one of there houses and that we should come by sometime. I asked where they live. Lisa the main girl told me I’d have to find that out on my own.

Her mom came to pick them up. We hopped in Pats car and followed. A few days later Terrance and I showed up at Lisa’s door.

More on that later.

A few months passed. Terrance and I started to like Pat, he turned out to be a pretty cool guy. Pat’s mom was convinced we were stealing from her. She told Pat he couldn’t hang around us any more.

A few more months pass. I hear a knock at Terrance’s moms’ door. I answer it. It’s Pat.

“Hey man, what’s up?” I asked.



Here is the conversation spelling and grammatical errors are in intentional.



He grabbed me by the shoulders and yelled into my face “Yo, man, why you be dissing me? Why you play me like that yo? “

“Lay off the Yo MTV raps bullshit and talk to me normally.”

“Yo man you stold my knives bitch.”

“When did you become so street Pat?”

“Yo man where’s my knives? My momma told me yo took them.”

“I don’t have you knives Pat, calm down you asshole”

“Man, fuck you bro.”



Pat walked away.

Terrance came out

“What was that all about?”

“He thinks we stole his knives, his momma told him.”

“Wanna get some lunch?”

“Sure”



We went about our day. We avoided Pat from that day on . Quite frankly he could have killed us.