Return of the rat

Christmas eve.
I go to Shaunna's house for a Christmas eve party.  I'm nervous as hell. I don't like meeting new people. I get to the house and am immediately hugged by her mother. She gives me a card.  Inside is a large sum of money and a bunch of gift cards. I tell her I can not accept this gift. It's far to generous for a stranger. She refuses to take it back. Shaunna tells me I need to keep it. Shaunna introduces me to fer friends and family. Everyone is nice. Her family accepts me as one of there own. Her husband Mike and I talk for awhile about nothing at all. I meet the neighbors. I meet Mikes family. I think I meet and talked to more people last night then I have in the past three years.

Her two sons are cute as hell. The youngest took me to his room to show me his toy cars. Her oldest took apart the clothes dryer to show me how it works. I spent the night in her studio. I fell asleep around three. Woke up about 5:30. I sat and looked through our old yearbooks trying to remember people. I sat and waited till I heard someone downstairs. Sloan made coffee, Shaunna made breakfast.We said goodbye, hugged and I drove to my mom's house.

What do you do when your son you haven't seen of talked to in eight years surprises you on Christmas?
If you are my mom, you roll down the car window and shake his hand. You comment on his beard looks nice. You ask him if he made the same mistakes in his marriage that his dad did. You start bad mouthing his father who has been dead  for three years.

When your son says "Mom, it's been a long time, lets bury the hatchet and try to have a normal relationship." You say "I did nothing wrong, you ran away, you treated me like shit. You were a failure and your just lonely." You ask if you could take his picture. You stay seated in you car and take a picture through the window. You say "I'm leaving for a vacation with John, you should meet him. He's so different from your father." You then tell your son "I guess I should hug you." You get out of the car and hug him.
There is no feeling there. It felt dead. You get back in your car and drive away.

I'm not sad about it.I wasn't expecting a giant love filled reunion.
I'm not letting the actions of others dictate my mood. I'm happy today. So far it's been a hell of a Christmas.